Control yourself, hone yourself, keep yourself.

/July 2023


the world is full of mud and sand; the road of life is full of ups and downs.

in reality, no one's life will go smoothly.

No matter where we are, it is ourselves who can determine the direction of life.

Stephen Covey, a master of management, once divided one's life into two parts: the circle of influence and the circle of attention.

the circle of influence can be changed on its own, while the circle of attention is an uncontrollable external environment.

sharpen your strength and do your best within a controllable range;

hold your boundaries and minimize the influence of uncontrollable factors.

take control of yourself

psychologist Kelly McGonagall said:

"our ability to control ourselves greatly affects the success or failure of our lives."

self-control is the consciousness of the strong.

those who are really good can control their own lives and naturally dominate their own lives.

not long ago, some netizens ran into actor Chow Yun-fat at the breakfast restaurant.

I saw him eating a bowl of wonton with one chopstick each, eating it leisurely.

his calm and indifferent appearance is hardly reminiscent of him as a movie star worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

these years, he runs and works out and takes the initiative to stay away from the hustle and bustle.

and once he comes out to work, he will wear a straight suit, look good, and show all his professionalism.

can advance or retreat, can be hidden and can be revealed, all of which are inseparable from Chow Yun-fat's full control of himself.

when he was young, Chow Yun-fat had to drop out of school and work as soon as he finished junior high school because of his poor family.

after working as a salesman, waiter, postman, etc., he was honored to be a member of the TVB artist training class.

in order to gain a firm foothold in the circle, Chow Yun-fat worked very hard when filming, and even drank 12 raw eggs in one breath.

after suffering for 6 years, he finally became a big protagonist from a small dragon, from a worthless poor man to a rich man worth more than 100 million.

but surrounded by applause from flowers, Chow Yun-fat did not lose himself.

he doesn't live in a mansion, doesn't drive a luxury car, and doesn't wantonly use luxury goods.

but still wear flip-flops for more than ten yuan, cheap T-shirts bought by the supermarket, go to the vegetable market, take the subway, and live a life in the market.

Chow Yun-fat once revealed his heart: "my dream is very simple. I just want to be a happy ordinary person."

the more you grow up, the more you find that the really difficult thing in life is not how much money you make.

but have the power to control yourself and live a unique self.

if you can't manage yourself well, it's easy to lose your way of life and drift with the current.

as the thinker Montaigne said:

"the true freedom is to be able to control yourself at all times."

in the ups and downs of life, it can grow positively and open up a broad road ahead;

in the flashy hustle and bustle, the flashy shell will be removed and run forward lightly and freely.

hone yourself

Mr. Yang Jiang said in "going to the Edge of Life":

"if we reflect on our life experience, we can't help it because of the situation at that time.

but at the critical moment, it is up to you to decide. "

it's a long way, and everyone will encounter unpredictable people and things.

instead of wasting time on confrontation, it is better to cultivate one's character and mind when things go wrong, and to sharpen a more resilient self in the ups and downs.

not long ago, Zhang Weili, Asia's first ultimate fighting champion, announced her glorious return with a beautiful turn and whip.

in fact, in the past period of time, Zhang Weili has been in a situation of "falling from the top to the bottom".

in 2021, Zhang Weili, who was expected to play for only 78 seconds, lost hastily.

for a while, the harsh questioning of "anti-counterfeiting match" swarmed in.

made the strong Zhang Weili hold her breath for a long time and vowed to "take revenge."

however, in the match seven months later, Zhang Weili lost again because of too much psychological pressure.

successive failures made her start to calm down:

"A person's heart is as big as a fist. If you keep everything in your heart, you can't do anything."

the ridicule of the outside world, the pressure of the opponent, once these external factors become obstacles that interfere with the mind, they will only stop when dragged down by them.

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it is better to settle down, regard suffering as an opportunity for growth, and constantly cultivate yourself.

so Zhang Weili began to change her mind:

in life, she tries to meditate, finds peace between exhalation and inhalation, and puts aside her obsession.

in training, she stepped up her efforts to strengthen her physique and improve her personal skills through day-to-day intensive training.

after a lot of training, Zhang Weili finally fought a beautiful turnaround.

I have heard a saying:

"Life is full of waves and fate is ups and downs. Although we are unable to mediate, we can choose which posture to welcome it."

Life is like a battlefield, everyone is experiencing a war without gunpowder smoke.

when you are in trouble, don't rush.Fight to the death, learn to stabilize your mood, and secretly store energy to wait for the opportunity.

change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed.

when you take the initiative in your own hands, you will find that all the stumbles in front of you are just stepping stones to your own progress.

hold yourself

in one's life, one will inevitably encounter deep trenches and culverts.

how can we walk smoothly and move forward in the mud-and-sand world?

as Professor Luo Xiang said:

"be cautious about things you can control, and be optimistic about things that are out of control."

We can't predict the coming ups and downs, but we can keep our boundaries and boundaries.

Don't be surprised, don't mess up, face everything calmly, and the solution will emerge slowly.

for a time, writer Cai Lan discovered an interesting phenomenon.

as long as you take a taxi, you will always hear drivers complain about the economic situation and the difficulty of doing business.

once, he met a "special driver".

the driver made a careful arrangement in the car, with flowers and furnishings, and the atmosphere was particularly good.

Cai Lan praised his optimism, and the driver smiled faintly:

"it is better to live without resentment than to live without complaining. As long as you figure it out, luck will follow. "

Cai Lan felt deeply when he saw this scene.

Yes, the torrent of life is roaring past, and no one can resist it all.

instead of complaining and complaining, it is better to keep a good heart and do what is in front of you.

when you put all your mind on yourself, you will wait for the day when the clouds will see the sun.

when he was young, Cai Lan was an excellent producer in a film and television company.

although his performance is very good, he is very painful because he can't meet his favorite subject for a long time.

when he was ambitious, he put forward the idea of making a literary film to the company, but he was denied and was required to make a profit in every play.

since reality cannot be changed, Cai Lan is no longer addicted to frustration.

in his later work, he gradually adjusted himself and tried to make filming as fun: carefully carving every shot and taking pleasure in restoring the real scene in the play.

in his own words:

"if you don't give me a chance, I'll find other fun in it."

slowly, instead of being held hostage by mundane things, Cai Lan developed an open-minded demeanor and a sense of humor that everything can be interesting.

if the heart is not confused, everything is all right.

We must not let 10% of the uncontrollable factors in life destroy 90% of the controllable life.

under any circumstances, being able to defend yourself is a person's top self-discipline.

there is a saying in Meditation: "the soul must not be restless, so that life can be smooth and worry-free."

the gap between people is nothing more than in front of the unknown:

some people lose their sense of propriety, act impatiently, and achieve nothing in the end.

and some people are calm and calm, stick to their original mind, act steadily and go far away.

writer Bai Luomei said:

"A game of chess in life, there is nothing we can do about winning or losing.

when you are lost, you are mostly inside the bureau, and when you are enlightened, you are already outside the bureau. "

Life is changing rapidly, and it is easy to get people confused by an endless stream of uncontrollable factors.

at this time, blindly resigned to fate, will only be confused and miss the opportunity to turn the market.

if you want to deal with it calmly, there is nothing others can do but to rely on yourself.

Control your own rhythm, hone your character, and guard your boundaries before you can turn defeat into victory.

, may you and I both cultivate an exquisite heart and live a complete life in the complicated world.