The measure of speaking is the size of being a man.

/July 2023

writer Huang Qituan said in "Life-changing conversation":

"people who can talk can get others out of the frame, while people who can't talk tend to frame others."

people with good thoughts never use evil words to define others.

what kind of attitude a person speaks with often means that he is that kind of person.

to speak is an ability, and to know how to advance and retreat is an ability.

the measure of speech is the size of being a man.

all knife nozzles are knife hearts

"desire Villa" says:

"A soft tongue can break a person's bones and muscles. Language can sometimes hurt people more than violence. "

Li Baoli in the movie "ten thousand arrows through the heart" is a woman whose mouth is disgusting and does not know.

Li Baoli's husband, Ma Xuewu, was a rural man who worked hard to be admitted to the university, and later stayed in the city as a factory director.

Li Baoli always humiliates her husband as a "hillbilly" and "cheap" because she is a somewhat beautiful city dweller.

she never misses every opportunity to mock her husband, whether in front of her best friend or in front of her mother-in-law and son.

when they moved to their new house, Li Baoli could not bear to see the workers raise the price, and her husband handed the workers cigarettes and bought soda, so she cursed loudly:

"cigarettes are free, sodas are free? You think this is a treat! What a bitch! "

she snatched the cigarette from her husband's hand carelessly and trampled her husband's dignity underfoot.

the movers couldn't stand it and laughed at Ma Xuewu, although he was educated, but his family status was inferior to them.

the workers lamented Ma Xuewu's "pitiful life".

later, when the honest and cowardly Ma Xuewu fell in love with an understanding colleague, Li Baoli found that her husband was dating a female colleague and reported her husband.

Ma Xuewu was demoted and laid off. when he learned that his wife had reported him, he was desperate and left a suicide note and jumped into the river to commit suicide.

the so-called words are the voice of the heart, those who only want to vent their own emotions, regardless of the feelings of others, their essence is selfishness.

they use their tongues to achieve the goal of controlling others, and do not hesitate to use acerbic language as a way to conquer others.

Yu Minhong once said with emotion in Lao Yu's gossip:

"there is no such thing as a knife mouth and a tofu heart in this world. A knife mouth is a knife heart."

people who always boast themselves with a knife mouth are not really straightforward, but really selfish.

A person's attitude and self-cultivation are hidden in the way he speaks.

since the heart of bean curd, why the knife mouth

there is a saying in Guanzi: "if you don't speak carefully, you will hurt him."

means: the words spoken are not thorough enough, but they will hurt themselves.

netizens of Zhihu

@ Xiaohua

have shared their own stories.

Xiaohua went shopping with her cousin when a motorcycle sped past and snatched her handbag.

she was dragged to the ground and bruised.

when her husband heard the news, he rushed to the scene and shouted at her like a machine gun:

"Why do you have to go shopping, too free to do?"

"you're out of your mind. You can't even hold your bag. Are you a pig?"

Xiaohua was particularly aggrieved when she heard this, crying at her husband:

"you don't care if I'm hurt, you just curse. Are people like you made of stone?"

my husband immediately looked sideways, waved his hands and said, "Why should I ask this stupid question?" Were you killed by a car? "

when she got home, her father-in-law and other relatives and friends came to persuade her.

"he just can't talk, and he has a good heart. Don't argue with him."

, her husband apologized to her on his own initiative, saying that he was too anxious and worried about her injury, but he just couldn't comfort others.

A person's words shoot at others like skates and arrows, venting his feelings wantonly. Even if he is concerned, it is difficult for the people around him to feel warmth.

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this is like a second injury after a disaster, which is more unbearable than the first injury that was caught off guard.

Xunzi says: "speaking well with others is warmer than cloth; hurting people with words is deeper than spear."

it is true.

the physical wound will heal in a few days, but how long will it take for the mental wound to heal?

it is better to be a man than to understand more and be less critical.

even to your loved ones, you have to be modest in order to make your family feel warm.

ask yourself: since you have a heart of tofu, why do you need a knife?

A good word, warm in three winters

Gui Gu Zi wrote in the chapter "Gui he": "the mouth is the door of the heart."

A person's mouth is a person's soul door.

A soft-hearted, gentle and kind-hearted person does not have the heart to speak harshly.

once read such a story:

the girl Xiaoqing has a congenital disability and can only walk on a prosthetic leg.

growing up, many people would point at her and say, "she is a cripple."

every time Xiaoqing heard these words, she kept herself in her room.

when she was old enough to go to school, Xiao Qing's mother told the teacher.The situation of Xiaoqing.

therefore, the teacher sent such a sentence in the group:

"tomorrow there will be a child in our class, whose legs are different from ours.

but I hope that parents can tell their children that this child is no different from everyone else's personal dignity.

she is also an angel, but her wing was broken when she came to earth, and she also hopes to be friends with her classmates. "

the next day, none of the children laughed at the girl, but said she was a lovely angel and wanted to be friends with her.

A person's words can really save a broken heart.

good words and bad words, redemption or hurt are often between a thought.

people who are kind-hearted and soft-spoken always have others in their hearts.

consideration for others is their most basic self-cultivation.

there is a saying: "if you have good thoughts in your heart, you will spit lotus flowers in your mouth."

it is not that he is skillful in speaking, but that he will take care of other people's feelings at the expense of his own body.

people who know how to speak tend to know how to be a man.

A good word warms you in three winters, but a bad word hurts you in June.

Zeng Guofan once said: "do not act willfully, do not speak freely."

A person with a kind mind will control his emotions and respect others when he speaks.

instead of using outspokenness as an excuse, it is better to be agreeable.

I would rather shut up than bully in words.

to save face for others is to save dignity for yourself.

if you want to convince others in communication, you can have a firm attitude and you don't have to be tough in language.

there is virtue in the mouth, goodness in the heart.

, may you have a kind heart, give fragrance to others, be kind to others, and be gentle with yourself.