If the position is different, a few words are precious; if the cognition is different, there is no need to argue.

/July 2023

recently I read a sentence and felt deeply:

"the stupidest act in the world is to keep giving people reason.


Adults should remember that a few words are precious when the position is different, there is no need to argue if the cognition is different, and the disagreement between the three values is a waste of breath.

when Zeng Guofan was the first perfect man through the ages, Zeng Guofan laid down a rule of "three precepts" for himself, that is, "abstain from talking too much, abstaining from anger, abstaining from begging," that is, talking less, losing temper less, and desiring less, which is worth learning and alerting ourselves.

on the other hand, abstinence and talking is at the head of the three precepts.

the wiser people are, they know that they have different positions, so it is useless to say more; if they have different cognition, they waste their breath; if they do not agree with each other, they cast pearls before swine.

the position is different, a few words are more expensive

in life, we judge a thing, usually from our own point of view, which is almost everyone's habitual thinking.

as everyone knows, different positions often have different views on the same thing, so it is often unfair for you to talk casually and without thinking, and even become an arrow that hurts people.

some time ago, my colleague Xiao Xia was in the office, showing off that her husband was very successful in raising the children. speaking of excitement, she patted the sister Zhou beside her and said, "look, the education of the children cannot be separated from the father, and the children brought by the father are particularly excellent!"

at that time, we saw Sister Zhou's face and then changed. As we all know, Sister Zhou divorced and took care of the children alone.

although Xiao Xia is unintentional, because everyone is in a different situation, hearing Sister Zhou's ears has become a kind of irony and a kind of injury.

there are too many such things in our lives, complaining about hard work in front of the boss, complaining about the husband in front of the mother-in-law, saying that it is too expensive in front of the rich and too cheap in front of the poor. You'll never resonate.

because everyone is in a different position, they naturally look at the problem from a different point of view, and naturally they will not feel the same way as you. Talking too much will only make people boring.

some time ago, I read a particularly interesting sentence: when driving, I hate jams and people who won't let me.

is it funny that when you are jammed, you don't like it, and when you jam someone else, you don't want to be rejected.

therefore, people's feelings are completely different in different positions, and everyone is used to starting from their own point of view.

therefore, it is precious to say a few words in different positions.

less talk is a kind of self-cultivation and respect for the lives of others. Everyone has a different position, so there is no need to force it. All we can do is to be ourselves.

CCTV famous mouth Bai Yansong once said: I do not know the whole picture, do not comment, this is a virtue, a kind of education.

A few words is a kind of wisdom. Evil comes out of the mouth, and many words are bound to lose. One word can accomplish things, and one word can fail things.

as Zeng Guofan said, in ancient times, those who were defeated by evil morality all talked a lot, and it was a kind of great wisdom to keep their mouths in the group.

Cognition is different, so there is no need to argue

there is a question on Zhihu: what is the most stupid behavior that people are most likely to commit in social life?

the answer with the highest praise is: cognition is different, but also argue according to reason.

each of us lives in this world, and each of us has different experiences and backgrounds, so we naturally have different perceptions of the same thing.

so there are some things, no matter how you explain, no matter how you argue, others can not understand, in the end, it is just a waste of breath, or even boring.

have seen such an interesting story:

once upon a time, a scholar had an argument with an old farmer and almost got into a scuffle, and then he went to the Yamen to let the county master find justice.

for what?

it turns out that what they are arguing about is, how much is Panax notoginseng?

the farmer said, three, seven, twenty-eight.

the scholar said, "three, seven, twenty-one."

as a result, no one can beat each other, and no one can convince each other. To this end, asked the county master to reason for them, the county master listened, as a result, but ordered: the old farmer went home, the scholar led the twenty boards.

the scholar was angry and puzzled.

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the county master replied, "you are a scholar, but you argue with a white man, you should fight!"

the story is funny, but the moral is profound.

as the saying goes, "it is better to argue with the same as good than with fools". For people with different perceptions, it is foolish to beat each other to death, which is not only a waste of time and energy, but also futile, or even get into trouble.

there is a saying in the Book of morality: "those who are good do not argue, and those who argue are not good."


means that really smart people never argue with others, but those who are eloquent are not necessarily strong.

Cognition is different, so there is no need to argue.

indisputable is a kind of wisdom, because everyone sees the world and understands differently because they know that cognition is different. Instead of arguing about it, it is better to be relieved.

as Lincoln said, the way for people who are different from cognition to win an argument is not to argue.

indisputable, is a pattern, this world, it is impossible for everyone to live at the same level, everyone has their own way of life, tolerance and understanding of this phenomenon, the ultimate dilemma is their own, to improve their own cognition is the way of wisdom.

as the saying goes, there is something to say and know people, and food gifts to the hungry.

the position is different, the few words are precious; the cognition is different, it is indisputable; the three values are different, it is a waste of breath.

non-argument is a kind of transparency, a pattern, never argue with people at different levels.

enlarge your own pattern, don't judge others easily, don't try to convince others all the time.

learn to respect others while sticking to yourself.

the most comfortable state of life is to talk to like-minded people all night, don't speculate, and laugh it off.

finally, I wish you and me, everything we encounter is warm, everything we get is good, and the rest of our lives are calm and enjoyable.