Never take human feelings too seriously.

/July 2023


as the ancients said, "there are wine and meat friends, no money, no power, no relatives."

although the words are piercing, they are not without reason.

when I was young, I always felt that everyone around me could count on, but later I found out that many things are not what I imagined.

if you don't experience setbacks, you can't understand the vicissitudes of life; if you don't experience human feelings, you can't see through the hearts of the people.

only after going through the wind and rain can you understand that sometimes you can't take human feelings too seriously.

humanity is like a thin sheet of paper, and the world is like a chess game

as the old saying goes, "the human heart is as deep as the sea, but human feelings are thinner than paper."

if something happens, you don't know who is sincere; if you are not in trouble, you don't know whose hand is warm.

Jia Pingwa once described his condition after illness:

after Jia Pingwa was diagnosed with liver disease, friends who knew he was sick seldom came to visit.

occasionally a friend who didn't know came, and when he learned of Jia Pingwa's illness, he left immediately.

A friend entertained the distinguished guests and needed Jia Pingwa to accompany him.

although Jia Pingwa asked for special bowls and chopsticks on her own initiative, the wife of a friend is still full of discrimination.

as soon as Jia Pingwa left after dinner, the bowls and chopsticks he used were immediately treated as garbage and smashed to pieces.

in the past, Jia Pingwa did not ask for leave from work and needed to write a review again and again, but now everything is simple.

in fact, the truth of human feelings is not how many people you know when you are brilliant, but how many people know you when you are down.

when someone is successful, the door is full of traffic; when someone is frustrated, the door is left out in the cold.

in 2012, Wu Haigang came to Guangdong, and he was ready to take advantage of the good economic situation to do a big job here.

feeling omnipotent, he began to raise a large amount of money, and through connections to buy land to build factories in Shaoguan, invested a huge amount of financial resources and energy.

however, the economic situation reversed and the company's cash flow was in crisis.

then he discovered that the people who promised to lend him money had suddenly disappeared without a trace.

even his friends, who called him brothers all day, deliberately hid for fear that he would ask to borrow money.

people have gains and losses, games win or lose, life is like chess, the world is unpredictable.

time goes by fast, and people's hearts change too fast.

not all people can rely on, and not all people will be sincere to you.

never overestimate relationships and never rely on human feelings.

relying too much on human feelings will only increase disappointment

in the online drama "the Hidden Corner," Pu and Yan Liang are partners who ran out of the welfare home together.

when Yan Liang heard that Pu's brother was critically ill, he went to his father's good friend Zhang Jinglin to borrow money for the operation.

at the beginning, something happened to Zhang Jinglin, which was solved by Yan Liang's father, and the two became good friends at once.

however, when Yan Liang found Zhang Jinglin, instead of entertaining him properly, Zhang Jinglin showed an expression of surprise and disgust.

especially after knowing that Yan Liang was borrowing money from himself, Zhang Jinglin pretended to let Yan Liang eat, and then took out 200 yuan from his wallet, just like sending a beggar, hoping that Yan Liang would leave soon.

when Zhang Jinglin learned that Yan Liang wanted to borrow 300000 yuan, he shamelessly took back the money he had just sent out and called the police, claiming that Yan Liang was a thief.

Dumas once said, "people who base their hopes on their desires and wishes will be disappointed 19 out of 20 times."

the more you expect, the greater the disappointment.

overestimating your relationship with others will only add unnecessary annoyance.

my colleague has a best friend of a lawyer, and the two have a very good relationship.

once, the best friend's daughter had a fever, and because both the best friend and the couple couldn't get away, the colleague hurriedly took the child to the hospital.

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she is not only busy, but also pays her own medical expenses, which moves her best friend very much.

later, her best friend said to her colleague, "feel free to talk if you have anything to do with the law in the future."

Last year, my colleague wanted to buy a second-hand house, but he didn't understand some of the terms when signing the contract, and he wanted his best friend to help him for free.

I don't want to. My best friend didn't take good care of her this time, which eventually led to heavy financial losses for her colleagues.

later, a colleague learned from a friend of her best friend that she had long felt that the favor owed to her colleague had been repaid, so she didn't pay too much attention this time.

most of the time, what hurts you is not the ruthlessness of others, but your illusions about others.

No matter how many human feelings there are, there will always be a day to pay them back.

do not regard other people's affection as a blessing, do not regard other people's politeness as luck.

reducing dependence and expectation is the self-consciousness that adults should have.

it is the greatest strength to rely on yourself in everything

there is a hot post with 348000 onlookers on Zhihu:

"since when do you realize how cruel the reality is and that you are on your own in this world?"

A lot of people have given similar answers.:

when you have urgent needs, only to find that there is no one to rely on;

when you find that there are many people around you, but there is nothing you can do.

in life, we are easy to feel dependent on others, but relying on water will dry up, and relying on mountains will fall.

Zheng Yuanjie once said: "pinning your hopes on others means keeping your disappointment to yourself."

over-reliance on others is tantamount to falling into passivity. Once the other person leaves, you will be at a loss as to what to do.

only by keeping our fate firmly in our own hands can we get out of the frustrations.

Ding Yuanying, a businessman in the TV series "the way of Heaven", came to live in seclusion in an ancient city alone for eight months after ending his private equity fund.

during these days, when his funds were frozen, he was down and out, but for fear of being in debt, he never asked anyone for help, or even called them once.

even in the worst of times, he would rather sell dozens of precious German records at a low price than bother relatives and friends.

Xiao Yawen, Ding Yuanying's assistant, once entrusted Rui Xiaodan, a classmate who was visiting relatives in the ancient city, to take care of Ding Yuanying, but when Rui Xiaodan wanted to help Ding Yuanying, Ding Yuanying used the sentence "can I help you?" I said no.

later, in order to lift Wangmiao Village under the ancient city out of poverty, Ding Yuanying planned a detailed "getting rich plan" and repeated it himself to ensure its success.

in every step of the implementation of the whole plan, Ding Yuanying not only thinks independently, but also looks for concrete ways to solve the problem.

the greatest strength of adults will always come from themselves.

although you are doomed to go through a lot of tribulations and taste more pain by yourself, you can easily get it for a while by relying on others, but you can't relax for a lifetime.

only by yourself can we live this difficult life well.

there was once an article entitled

"A letter from Guo Degang to his son"

is widely circulated.

Guo Degang said to his son in his letter:

"it's hard to go to heaven, but it's even harder to ask for help. Huanglian is bitter, but it is even more bitter to have no money. Rivers and lakes are dangerous, but the hearts of people are more dangerous. Spring ice is thin, human feelings are even thinner. "

Paper-thin human feelings make people discouraged, while unreliable human feelings make people more and more disappointed.

only by relying on yourself can we take the initiative in life in our own hands.

from now on, if you live to be the sun, you can illuminate the road signs in front of you without the afterglow of others.

, share with your friends.