The social truth of adults: the colder the relationship, the more reliable it is.
Eason Chan sings in "Best Bad Friends"
"the stranger in the coming year is the dearest so-and-so yesterday."
many people thought they would be together for a lifetime, but they are drifting away on the way.
the relationship between people can not escape the law of convergence, dispersion and separation, and some people get separated inadvertently.
it took me half my life to understand what is the most comfortable social state.
take the initiative to talk about money, keep the boundaries
Sanmao said that comedies in the world can be produced without money, and most of the tragedies in the world have something to do with money.
money is like a mirror, looking at sentient beings and people's hearts.
there is such a clip in Twenty without perplexity.
Jiang Xiaoguo, a college student, has excellent academic performance, but his family is poor. However, when she heard that her classmate Wang Wei was in trouble, she clenched her teeth and lent her 300 yuan.
soon, there was something wrong with Jiang Xiaoguo's mobile phone, and she decided to change it, but the money was still short.
after knowing that Wang Wei could receive financial aid, Jiang Xiaoguo hurriedly went to her to repay the money.
however, Wang Wei has no intention of paying back the money.
at first, she wanted to pretend to be muddle-headed, but after being exposed, she pushed three obstacles and four more, and finally pressed Jiang Xiaoguo with an aggrieved look on her face.
"Why are you doing this? I said to pay it back is to pay it back, but not today, isn't it 300 yuan? are you going to humiliate me like this? "
after the story spread, Jiang Xiaoguo, who took the initiative to borrow money, was regarded as an aggressive, hypocritical and selfish villain.
it was originally an act of goodwill, but in the end it was hit back, which was really chilling.
I like a passage I have seen in moments:
"the key to getting along with good friends is frankness and comfort. I don't want him to come to me to borrow money, and I don't want me to be careful when I ask him to repay the money. "
writer Xie Kehui once told such a story.
A boss commissioned a friend to do research. After receiving the data, he immediately transferred money.
my friend declined to say, "We are friends, so I never thought of charging."
later he said: "I like to take the initiative to talk about money, but also like to make friends with people who take the initiative to talk about money." Taking the initiative to talk about money is a sense of proportion to each other. The clearer the division between money and friendship, the longer the relationship will last. "
it is really open and generous to talk about money and affection.
as the old saying goes, even brothers should get even.
Let's talk about money openly, talking about things and abiding by principles.
to take the initiative to talk about money is not to offend other people's interests, but also to tell each other their own bottom line.
put the money in the sun, subtract the relationship, don't mix anything else, know each other, and the relationship will naturally last longer and longer.
Let's get this straight, don't guess anything
in the Happiness Trio, Xi Mengyao has a performance that is highly praised by the audience.
when playing Arena of Valor with he Youjun, because Xi Mengyao had not played games for a long time, she was not very skilled in operation and made many mistakes.
Lawrence Ho began to complain: "if you still hang around like this in the next hand, we will lose."
unexpectedly, in the second game, because the neighbors sent them food, the two hung up and lost again.
so when he opened the third one, Lawrence Ho began to complain again.
at this time Xi Mengyao said directly, "Why do you keep scolding me?"
Lawrence Ho immediately explained, "Honey, I'm not scolding you." I'm in such a hurry. It's my problem. "
you see, if you have an idea, just say it, and you can solve the problem in two or three sentences.
if you don't say it, it will be like a thorn stuck in your throat. If you think of it from time to time, it will destroy the relationship.
Xi Mengyao also said frankly in the program:
"as a novice couple of Pisces and Capricorn, Mario and I both feel that it is very important to speak up.
in daily life, we should communicate each other's needs and ideas in a timely manner. I think this is also a process of building trust between husband and wife. "
there is a psychological term for "seeing and healing".
says is that many puzzles and troubles are not necessarily caused by specific events, but because they fail to express their true feelings and their emotions are not released, resulting in psychological conflicts.
if we speak directly and let our emotions out, we will feel much better even if things are not resolved.
in the wonderful work, Huang Zhizhong once said:
"in the final analysis, nine times out of ten, the problems in life lie in interpersonal relationships. In the final analysis, nine times out of ten, the trouble in interpersonal relations is due to communication problems. "
grievances do not come out, such as a pain in the throat, in the end, it is yourself who gets hurt, and over time, it will consume all the feelings between people.
only when you interact with people, don't talk awkwardly, and don't cover up things, can the relationship last longer and longer.
go in both directions and give back to each other
Haruki Murakami once said:
"for those who love each other, each other's heart is the best house.
whether it's love or friendship, it makes sense only if you know how to go in both directions.
in 2005, Xue Zhiqian officially made his debut in "my style Show", and Zhao Yingjun was his brother.
when they started out, neither of them had much money and lived the life of "Beijing drifters" together.
it was during that time that Zhao Yingjun created songs such as "what do you want me to do", actors "and" Rain "for Xue Zhiqian, and Xue Zhiqian began to become famous.
soon, however, Xue Zhiqian was mired in an emotional storm, and his word-of-mouth plummeted, and many of his friends were afraid to come out and speak out for fear of "upsetting themselves."
but Zhao Yingjun spoke up for Xue Zhiqian publicly.
on Christmas Day, Xue Zhiqian needed to record songs to participate in the program in Qingdao. Zhao Yingjun flew to Qingdao without saying a word, but complained that "there was no food on the plane."
later, Zhao Yingjun fell ill.
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from then on, Xue Zhiqian silently accompanied his brother Zhao Yingjun to major hospitals for treatment, looking for the best medicine and the best doctor.
in this painful experience of fighting cancer, Xue Zhiqian accompanied him through the dead door twice. Every time Zhao Yingjun wakes up, he says to him, "Don't cry."
Zhao Yingjun stayed at the age of 34, but their friendship continued.
Zhao Yingjun's hand in Xue Zhiqian's trough, Xue Zhiqian's never give up when Zhao Yingjun was sick.
support each other and go to each other. I see the best of friendship in them.
No matter how suitable two people are, if they don't care about each other, they will gradually become strangers.
No matter how deep the feelings are, if you don't take care of each other, they will fade slowly.
the payment that does not get a response will only make people discouraged; unbridled demands will only make people feel cold and leave.
get along well with each other and go farther and farther away, not only by the mouth, but also by the hearts of mutual understanding and mutual rush.
for the rest of your life, I hope you meet someone who knows you and understands you, so that every effort you give will reverberate, so that such a relationship can last a lifetime.
Life is hard and making money is tiring, so you might as well make the relationship easier.
be considerate of each other, take the initiative to talk about money, and guard each other's boundaries;
understand each other, speak bluntly, don't bother to guess;
give to each other, go in both directions, and give back to each other with your heart.
instead of running in the opposite direction in misunderstanding and unwillingness, it is better to make the words clear and leave no regrets.
meeting depends on fate, getting along depends on maintenance.
I hope that for the rest of my life, you and I can see the efforts of others, keep the warm friendship, and be worthy of every sincerity.
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