Why do some couples have more and more feelings?

/July 2023

recently, a Weibo post by Huang Lei and his wife late at night has sparked heated discussion among countless netizens.

first of all, Huang Lei posted a video of cooking with the caption:

"do you want to know about boiled meat late at night?"

then his wife, Sun Li, posted two pictures of delicious food, writing:

"when I came back from the late night performance, I ate his boiled meat and was happy for several Versailles."

two Weibo posts went popular one after another, enviing a large number of netizens:

"it doesn't look like an old husband and wife who have been married for so many years!"

"Love in marriage is so sweet that it loses its teeth!"

I recall that in "the Life of yearning", a guest asked Huang Lei about his views on the relationship between husband and wife in marriage.

Huang Lei said:

"I am very opposed to husband and wife becoming relatives. My mother and daughter are my relatives, and my wife will always be my lover."

my wife and I are still lovers, and we should be lovers all our lives. "

the strength of family affection is based on consanguinity, while the strength of marriage should be based on the love of each other.

A truly happy marriage is to cook life with love, not to consume love with life.

there used to be a popular joke on the Internet:

"after a long time, the couple can sell the double bed and change it into an upper and lower bunk. You are my brother who sleeps in the upper bunk."

it was Cheng Lu and Siwen, once a model couple in the talk show world, who caught fire with this joke.

Cheng Lu and Siwen share the same interests-talk shows, and turn their interests into a career.

the two people who are going well in their careers have a family relationship that is different from others.

living in separate rooms after marriage, and the daily expenses of going out have to be borne by AA, which is the norm of their life.

the distance between two people who are too independent of each other is getting farther and farther away, and the intimacy and passion between husband and wife have long been lost.

that they say in their jokes:

"who says there is no pure friendship between men and women, my husband and I are."

in Siwen's mouth, two people get along more like friends than husband and wife.

when Cheng Lu followed the audience with a burst of laughter, Siwen's eyes sparkled with tears.

however, the core of the comedy is tragedy. When the joke becomes a reality, the marriage between two people officially ends from "Marriage is gone, Brother is still there".

Stenberg's love triangle theory says:

"perfect love must have three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment."

A complete love is indispensable to intimacy, passion and commitment.

although sometimes in different emotional stages, each factor has a different proportion and tendency, but to maintain their balance and stability is the focus of our happy marriage.

people are used to blaming time for the main reason for the decline of love in marriage.

but it is never time that defeats love, but enjoying each other's existence with peace of mind, but forgetting how to maintain love.

turning love into affection is actually a cover for the loss of love and an excuse for being unwilling to take care of and keep beautiful.

most people think that family affection is the basis for maintaining a long-term marriage, but I personally don't agree with this view.

I think that in the matter of marriage, love is the foundation of marriage, and lovers are always lovers.

as Leo Tolstoy said:

"only love can make marriage sacred, and only the marriage that makes love sacred is true marriage."

Love is always the measure of happiness, and love keeps marriage young and beautiful forever.

having heard such a sentence, I have a deep feeling:

"parents and children are standard matches, which you cannot choose by yourself, while your spouse is your choice, your choice among thousands of people."

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I think so, but many people often ignore this point.

Middle-aged marriage is full of broken dogs, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, children's education, and middle-aged crisis, all of which are a mountain on their shoulders.

gradually, we get used to each other's existence, take our loved ones for granted, and give each other less and less time.

Love fades away gradually, and we regard the pillow person as a relative and no longer make waves for his joys and sorrows.

there is a meaningful passage in the book Why Family hurts:

"the first place in the family should not be the parent-child relationship, but the husband-wife relationship.

your spouse is the one who will really accompany you all your life. "

Marriage is not the grave of love, but the end-result of love.

in the variety show "my wife's Romantic Journey", Qin Hailu and his wife showed us the secret of a happy marriage.

when Wang Xinjun went out, he brought a pair of flat shoes for his wife for fear that his wife would be affected in the rest of the journey.

as soon as he got on the bus, he wiped the sweat and fan for his wife and took good care of Qin Hailu in every detail.

when his wife lay in bed in the morning and didn't want to go downstairs for dinner, Wang Xinjun brought breakfast to the bedside without complaint or dissatisfaction.

on weekdays, Wang Xinjun's pet name of "Lai Bao" to his wife all embodies the fineness of Wang Xinjun.Heart and devotion to this relationship.

of course, Wang Xinjun gives unreservedly because Qin Hailu is worth it.

at that time, their wedding had already been planned, but Wang Xinjun's younger brother and father died one after another.

this caused a lot of psychological trauma to Wang Xinjun. Qin Hailu was unwilling to tear open her husband's scar and resolutely gave up holding the wedding.

which woman doesn't want to have her own wedding?

but when referring to this experience, Qin Hailu still said:

"I don't want him to recall these sad things again."

there is no love for no reason in the world. Only when two people are willing to give unconditionally to each other can the marriage be as happy as ever.

Marriage is not a rein that binds a couple together, but a bond that connects two people.

only by treating each other sincerely, couples who cherish each other will be more loving and happier.

because you are my choice among thousands of people, you should be cherished even more.

some time ago, I watched a very warm and loving documentary.

the protagonists of the documentary are Frank and his wife Helen, who have been married for 63 years.

before the interview began, his wife put on the foundation for Frank, and Frank complained:

"Don't paint me so much powder. I don't want to be like a little girl."

Helen said:

the white-haired old couple still kept the humor and humor of their youth, which made each other laugh.

Helen asked her husband:

"having been married for so long, I haven't done anything that annoys you."

Frank replied, "No, you are the perfect one."

then said:

"I think I love her as much as I did when I first met her, or more.

the love at first sight is the beginning of love, full of passion and excitement, but the love between us is lasting and unchangeable. "

Helen said:

"I have never thought of divorce, and I can't imagine my life without him."

for 63 years, Frank and Helen always kept the promise of each other's life, and the long years could not shake their determination to grow old together.

think of a sentence that Da Zhang Wei once said:

"many people think that love and marriage are a cup, which cannot be used as long as it has an eye.

and I think marriage and love are a piece of cloth. If we sew an eye here, it will be mended by an eye. Over time, this piece of cloth will become a picture. "

the stumbling in life is like a patch on cloth, which will become a beautiful landscape painting to record both sides in the long-term companionship and care.

Love should not be fettered by firewood, rice, oil and salt, but grow up in life and be cared for in trifles.

, may you be able to embrace happiness with the one around you and have always passionate love in your ordinary life.