You taught me what other people do to you.

/July 2023


Huang Qituan said: "everyone is our mirror. We unconsciously teach others how to treat ourselves." You must take credit for any bad relationship. "

although we don't want to admit this fact, most of the time, our unintentional behavior implies the attitude of others towards you.

it is only in the second half of life that we discover the heart-wrenching truth in interpersonal communication:

you teach you what others do to you.

too kind, others will bully you

there was an old woman who reclaimed a vegetable field in front of her house. She grows a lot of seasonal vegetables in the field.

although the old woman is old, she is still strong.

she is also very industrious and gets a lot of harvest every season.

because of the death of her wife, she usually lives alone.

the vegetables she grows cannot be eaten by herself, so she will pick more and distribute them to her neighbors.

the neighbors who have just received the food are very grateful.

they thought that the old woman was so old that she gave them the vegetables she had grown, so they offered to give the old woman some money or something else as thanks.

but the grandma refused, saying that distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors. They should have helped each other. You are welcome.

after a long time, some neighbors began to ask to take the initiative to pick vegetables in the vegetable field. The kind-hearted granny thought that she could not finish it by herself, so she agreed to these neighbors' requests.

she even left a door for the convenience of her neighbors so that they could come in at any time.

for a while, the old woman got sick and stayed in the hospital for a while.

when she got home, she found that there were few vegetables in the garden.

the whole vegetable garden is overgrown with weeds at a glance.

A few days later, another neighbor came to pick. She looked at her grandmother and asked, "after all the vegetables have been picked, why don't you take care of the vegetable field?" It's not too late to plant towel gourd. "

some neighbors began to say behind their backs, "she must have disliked us for picking too many vegetables and deliberately abandoned the vegetable field." I thought she was so kind. I didn't expect her to be so stingy at her age. "

the old woman felt a chill when she heard about it. She closed the door reserved for her neighbor, reserved only a small vegetable plot for herself, and planted all the rest with flowers and plants.

the Godfather once said: "softness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; kindness without principles will only allow the other party to do as he pleases."

kindness without a bottom line is like a sharp blade that stabs itself in the end.

being kind and tolerant is the highest state of life.

when you live a lifetime, you really don't have to wronge yourself everywhere. Really kind-hearted people are all "moderate" people.

Please stay away from those who are ungrateful for the rest of your life.

because such a person will only keep hurting your heart.

too obsessive, idle people will haunt you

once saw such a story on the Internet.

the wise man and the foolish man had dinner together, and they talked about the three Kingdoms during their conversation.

the wise man said, "in the Romance of the three Kingdoms, I like Zhuge Liang best. He is clever and resourceful."

the fool boasted, "I like Kong Ming in the Romance of the three Kingdoms best." His straw boat borrows arrows and empty city tricks, which is admirable. "

the wise man was stupefied. He told the confused man that Zhuge Liang and Kong Ming were the same person.

but confused people do not believe, the two express their own views, do not give way to each other, and quarrel.

so they decided to find a referee and the loser needed to treat him to dinner.

the wise man thought that the referee must find someone who is fair and just. So they went to the Taoist temple and asked a Taoist priest to comment on it.

they explained the situation to the preacher and asked him to judge whether to win or lose.

after thinking for a moment, the Taoist said to them, "Zhuge Liang and Kongming are really two people" and judged the fool to win.

faced with such a result, smart people are not convinced.

the fool said, "you found the referee. I didn't cheat. You should be willing to gamble and admit defeat."

the wise man paid for the meal in spite of his reluctance.

after the fool won, he left contentedly.

the wise man was very disappointed with the Taoist, so he asked him, "you know very well that Zhuge Liang and Kong Ming are the same person, so why did you judge him to win?"

the Taoist said to the wise man with a smile:

"I know Zhuge Liang and Kongming are the same person, and you didn't lose. You just paid for a meal to buy a lesson. Don't argue with confused people, don't pester over things that are not worth it. "

after hearing this, the wise man immediately understood the painstaking efforts of the Taoist master. After saying thanks to the chief Taoist, he also left happily.

people who are obsessed with too much often get stuck in a swamp and end up exhausted physically and mentally, constantly consuming themselves.

instead of getting stuck in the mud, you might as well put it down and get relieved.

No entanglement is never a compromise, but an inner abundance and an open mind.

there is a clear distinction between right and wrong, and it is wise not to argue.

too shrewd, friends will alienate you

there is a question on Zhihu: "what kind of people do you want to make friends with last?"

one of the most liked answers is: "too shrewd."

people who want to take advantage of everything seem to take advantage of it.It is appropriate, but you are the one who suffers in the end.

opportunism is the most taboo thing to be a man; really smart people know how to win with kindness.

Xiaoxiao's best friend is a full-time mother. Taking advantage of the convenience of living in Shenzhen, she often commutes to Hong Kong to buy mother-to-child products such as milk powder and diapers for her children.

when Xiaoxiao learned that, she suggested that she be a purchasing agent and took the initiative to recommend her friends to buy things from her.

she began to buy drugs, skin care products, jewelry, brand-name bags, etc., and use her brains on the goods.

she doesn't follow the market quotation and offers at will, ranging from hundreds to thousands. She also tells customers that she is operating in good faith and never takes advantage of others.

at a company party, Xiaoxiao collided with a colleague. Upon inquiry, she found that the other party was also looking for someone to buy it for her in Hong Kong.

but for the same bag, the price difference is nearly two thousand yuan.

in anger, she called her best friend and asked her why the price of the same bag was so different.

but her best friend replied confidently, "that's the price I bought at that time. It was all for friendship, but I didn't make any money at all."

Xiaoxiao was so sad that she deleted the other party's contact information, and there was no more intersection.

and the other party's reputation in the purchasing agency circle collapsed because of this incident. Later, fewer and fewer people came to her to buy things, and she put herself in a dead end.

there is a saying: "if you make a good abacus, change your coat to a vest."

think that you are careful and take advantage of everything, but you don't know that everyone has a scale in mind.

if there is too much calculation, the human feelings will be exhausted, and the feelings will break up.

the greatest shrewdness is to treat others with virtue and not to play with one's mind.

if you are too arrogant, your family will give you the cold shoulder

in life, we often vent our bad emotions on the people closest to us, taking them for granted.

We are also used to showing the funniest side to outsiders and think that it is worldly.

the biggest weakness of being a man is that he leaves his bad temper to those who are close to him.

as a result, the whole family became a powder keg.

in the program "Love Defense", guest Zhai Wei shared her story.

one day, he was at home helping his children with their homework.

when he was hysterical about the child's mistake, a phone call came in.

after glancing at the phone display, he immediately suppressed his anger when he was helping his child with his homework.

he quickly adjusted the range of his voice, adjusted his mood to his best, and began to talk gracefully and humorously to the other end of the phone, like an elite in the workplace.

the son is very puzzled by the "change of face" of his father.

he asked his mother, "Why is my father so patient and polite to others while always losing his temper with me?"

afterwards, the wife told her husband about the conversation.

there is a lyric in Eason Chan's song: "those who are favored have nothing to fear."

because of love, so unscrupulous; because of fear, so courtesy.

the measure of a family is never how much money you give to your family, but how much love you give them.

Life is impermanent, we should know how to leave the best emotions to the people who are closest to us.

you teach you what others do to you

Carnegie wrote in the weakness of Human Nature: "you should treat others as you want others to treat you."

in one's lifetime, any relationship is mutual.

what you do to others actually determines how they treat you.

only by being kind and moderate can you advance and retreat freely;

Let go of obsession before you can return to peace.

stay away from shrewdness in order to gain popularity;

only by controlling one's temper can one be happy at home.

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, may you relax and be the winner of relationships for the rest of your life.